Exploding Hockey Pucks Intercepted at Canadian Border!

“Shoot to kill and don’t eat any Canadian bacon.”

Terrorism has reached new levels of sophistication. Fortunately for us Americans, the Department of Homeland Security has a leg up on the new breed of invading hordes coming from our “ally” to the north, as explained in this recently published article.

Yesterday, a huge shipment of exploding hockey pucks, some of them with the destructive capacity of nuclear weapons, was intercepted coming across the U.S.-Canadian border.

It was not immediately known at which specific locations these hockey pucks would rain their devastation on innocent and unsuspecting Americans. However, DHS analysts have speculated that Minneapolis, Minnesota and Buffalo, New York were among the likely targets. Detroit was also mentioned but as one gentleman commented off the record, “What would be the point?”

Here we have more evidence that the horrifying assault on the American Way can take any form and further proof — as if we needed it — that the War on Terror must be waged with even greater toughness and continue indefinitely.

What could be next?

Incendiary Gouda cheese or anthrax-laced chocolate from Holland?

iPhones manufactured in China embedded with hydrogen bombs set to go off when the new hit song from Pixie Lott is downloaded from the iTunes Store?

Crocodile Dundee-style bush hats with flesh-eating bacteria smeared on the hat bands?

Love dolls from Japan with spring-loaded Samurai swords?

It is obvious with the radicalization of Canada that America cannot trust anyone any more. Countries which were once allies are rapidly becoming more hotbeds of anti-Americanism, willing to host proliferating cells of Muslim radicals spreading their diseased vision of the world and determined to wreak havoc and destruction until every last American is killed.

We should all sleep a little sounder knowing that there are brave American border guards standing strong, patrolling our “Maginot Line” with Canada, and keeping America safe.