The Hands-Down Ultimate Super-Bowl of Showdowns!

Hey, fight fans.

Here it is! 

The one you’ve been waiting for.

It’s going to be the battle of the ages!

Nothing like this has ever occurred in the history of the world.

Yes, folks . . . it’s a showdown that will reverberate till the end of time!

No, they’ll never stop talking about this head-to-head clash of the greatest titans EVER!

Are you ready to rumble?!! 

Have you got your seat belts fastened?

Are you wearing your rubber diapers?

In this corner, coming off two decades of undefeated combat with environmentalists and eco-scientists, teary-eyed tree huggers, Al Gore, and other addled acolytes of Gaia . . .

CLIMATE CHANGE!

And its opponent, veteran of decades of terror struck into the hearts of citizens across the globe, a warrior whose very name evokes visions of untold horror and suffering . . .

NUCLEAR WAR!

Which one will exit the battle triumphant, its opponent curled up in a fetal ball, savaged, humiliated, beaten by the overwhelming power and pitiless cunning of brutal competition?

Remember . . . This is a fight to the finish!

What’s at stake?  Ha!  This is not some girlie-boy contest, a phony reality show, another risible, froofy sport like hot-oil wading-pool arm-wrestling, three-legged gymnastics team dancing, or naked Ken and Barbie ping pong.

This is serious business, ladies and gentlemen!  As in . . . DEAD SERIOUS!

Only one of these ferocious fighters will lay claim to the ULTIMATE TITLE, and be able to say with the blood lust pride of a true warrior, a barbarian who embraces no moderation, a heartless amoral killer who knows no rules, feels no compassion, and has no conscience: 

“It was I who destroyed the human race!”

Will it be Climate Change turning the Earth into an uninhabitable pile of dust, dead fields of dried withered stalks, rotting corpses, extinct species, desiccating trees and shrubs — a barren wasteland where cockroaches frantically skitter looking for something to eat?

Or will it be Nuclear War turning the Earth into a radioactive pile of dust, dead fields of dried withered stalks, rotting corpses, extinct species, desiccating trees and shrubs — a barren wasteland where cockroaches frantically skitter looking for something to eat?

OH YEAH, BABY!  This is going to be truly awesome!

So stay tuned, folks.  Watch this battle AS IF YOUR LIFE DEPENDED ON IT!

And remember.  You can only get it here, exclusively on . . .

The Apocalypse Channel!