Life In Japan: Valentine’s Day

日本の女の子たちはとても素敵です! 彼らは西洋で失われた無実を持っています。Japan, like most Eastern cultures is very patriarchal, bordering on officially sanctioned misogyny.  I could go on and on about why this is so, despite the extreme Westernization and “modernization” of the country.  But it would be pure speculation.  Certainly, much of it is born out of deep and longstanding traditions generated during the tribalism of pre-history.  But I suspect the modern manifestation of male dominance imbedded in male-female relations is now more a product of extreme insecurity and a sense of inadequacy by boys and men — collectively borne at a very sub-conscious level, of course — than it is a reflection of the inheritance of rigorous structural societal norms.  This probably sounds like extremely superficial pop psychology, masking as a gracious critique.  But I’m hardly apologizing for what I observe might be vagina envy or something even more ridiculously unflattering and ultimately embarrassing or pernicious. 

Isn’t there a homily that goes like this?:  We worship that which flatters us, love what we can dominate, ridicule what we find puzzling, lash out at what we don’t understand, enslave and torment that which reminds us how pitiful and primitive we ultimately are.

They celebrate Valentines Day here — it’s a distinctly Japanese version of the love holiday — which like everything else in the U.S. has been turned into just more marketing, churning out of kitsch, and indulging in commodified histrionics.  Pumping up the GDP is the only reason for anything and everything, after all.  They’ll be putting a meter on my love muscle and collecting a surtax any day now.

Right in line with everything that goes on here, especially involving human interaction, there’s a sweet innocence to Valentines Day, remindful of a time before my time and thus not something I can duly remember.  But think of Frank Capra movies and extrapolate.

It’s innocent to be sure, but the guys are still in charge.  Yes, on Valentines Day, the guys in Japan just sit back and the girls pile it on — chocolate, that is.  From what I can tell, none of the giving is based on hot passion, hot sex, hot anticipation.  Basically, the message is:  “I’m a girl and you’re a boy and you’re not all that bad.”  Or maybe:  “I like you.  I think.  Call me maybe?”

As an English teacher, I got my share of Valentines chocolates from ladies of all ages.  Yes, I mean ALL ages.  From 7 years old to 60, 70, and beyond!

And all I was obligated to do was collect it, smile, say ありがとうございました (thank you so very much), then eat it at my convenience.

I almost felt guilty about all of the attention.

Then again . . .

There’s a payback.  But it’s very asymmetrical.  It happens exactly one month later.

March 14th is called White Day. 

Stay tuned.  

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