The Ultimate Punctuation Mark

Language and grammar are dynamic; ever-evolving; adapting to new usage, current trends and fads. There’s no reason to pass judgment on this, as many academics and publishers of dictionaries might presume to do. You can’t set language and punctuation in stone any more than you can declare that the sun will shine every Monday or outlaw oxidation.

Do you remember the interrobang?

While it didn’t really catch on, it did address a gap in our ability to have a final punctuation mark reflect the entire mood and intent of the language that preceded it. It’s a combination of a question mark and an exclamation point, allowing a statement to both act as a query and express awe, amazement, excitement, marvel, wonder, approval, acclaim, shock, and so on.

What in the world is going on with the Catholic Church and organ trafficking?!

Now, I should have been able to put an interrobang at the end of that exclamatory question, but as I said, it didn’t really catch on. At least, I can’t find it on the keyboard of my laptop.

The point is, as useful as something might potentially be for language and grammar, it’s actually impossible to dictate use and guarantee general acceptance.

So now I’m about to attempt the impossible.

Yes, I’ve come up with a new punctuation mark!

And without intending to blow my horn, bring undeserved attention to my genius, or capitalize on your gullibility as a reader of my articles, I’d like to say unequivocally that this innovative punctuation mark, aside from any other merits it might have, completely and thoroughly sums up the current mood — fear? despair? cynicism? resignation? — of a huge segment of the people living on the planet, the ones who have some idea what a horrible mess we as a species are now in.

Here it is . . .

Does it look familiar? It should.

An important question: Will it be useful?

A more important question: How long will it be around?

Maybe the best question we can ask: If my new punctuation mark really does work, really captures the zeitgeist of our troubled times, how long will we be around to use it?

(Sure wish I had that damn interrobang on my computer. I could have used it at the end of that last question.)

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