Life In Japan: Mystery Box

Here’s a challenge. Can anyone out there guess what this is?

I always say that here in Japan, almost every day I get some new, interesting surprise.

So?

You’ve probably figured out by now this is a vending machine. But what kind of vending machine? What does it vend?

Admittedly, I haven’t lived in the U.S. for over 14 years.

But I can still say with 100% confidence that a vending machine like this DOES NOT EXIST anywhere in the States. Of course, they have vending machines for many items: candy, chips, cookies, coffee, cigarettes, condoms, crackers, Coke, Pepsi and Sprite.

But not this!

Okay, here’s another photographic clue, a close-up of the photo on the machine below the selection buttons.

Does this help? Are you getting closer?

Whoa! I’m as fidgety as a canary on Monster Zero Ultra. Frankly . . . I can’t stand the suspense any longer.

So here it is. This is a vending machine for . . .

[ Drum roll ]

OYSTERS!

Yes, my patient and dedicated readers . . . fresh oysters is what comes out, after you plop some money in.

Now I’m not an oyster fan. The texture is fine. That slippery, slimy, mucousy vibe is not a problem for me. Nor is the oceanic salinity or organic rawness. I love squid and octopus, sushi and sashimi, seaweed and kelp. I just don’t especially like the flavor of oysters. There was even a world-class oyster bar in Portland, Oregon — my last permanent home in the U.S. — and I never went.

On the other hand, my wife Masumi loves oysters!

How convenient, eh? It’s 3:00 am and wham! she gets an oyster craving. No stores open? Not a problem. Just drive over to the OYSTER VENDING MACHINE!

Unfortunately, this particular one isn’t very convenient. It’s about 2 1/2 hours away in a town called Ayabeyama Bairin, famous at this time of year for the 20,000 plum trees in its Tatsuno Gardens. We went there to enjoy the early-flowering blossoms. Ayabeyama Bairin is right on the coast and fishing is one of the main industries. We discovered the vending machine at a fresh oyster stand as we left the area to head home.

Of course, no way could we leave the area without Masumi stocking up. Here she is in the final stage of buying some of the slimy taste delights.

She ate them all herself.

I was very happy for her!