Why should the U.S. wage war on Iran?
There are so many answers to that question, it’s difficult to know where to begin. But here are a few right off the top of my head, based on our current foreign policy and the thinking mapped out by the truly remarkable collection of political leaders currently at the helm. One of these real geniuses offers insights into the kind of guy he is in the above video.
Anyway, please stand at attention with your hands over your hearts, as I offer twenty-four of the reasons why we should wage war on Iran.
1) Because we can.
2) We have all these bombs.
3) What good is a military if you don’t use it?
4) We love spreading chaos!
5) Destroy, divide, conquer.
6) Have you ever seen Hassan Rouhani on Dancing With The Stars? Obviously he hates our freedom and our television shows.
7) God told us to.
8) Israel told us to.
9) Saudi Arabia told us to.
10) Lindsey Graham told us to.
11) We want to start a world war (see #2 above).
12) We got over the Vietnam Syndrome but now we have to get over both the “Afghanistan Syndrome” and the “Syria Syndrome”.
13) It’ll piss off Russia.
14) It’ll piss off China.
15) It’ll piss off Hillary Clinton because she wanted to be the one to start it.
16) Donald Trump will get re-elected because when we’re at war we have to rally behind the president (I think it’s somewhere in the Bible: “Don’t change horses’ asses in the middle of a war.” Leviticus? Corinthians?)
17) Hollywood needs new settings for its upcoming war movies.
18) War Is A Force That Gives Us Meaning by Chris Hedges.
19) Americans love war as long as it’s NIMBY.
20) Jared Kushner.
21) War makes lots of money for investors, especially the already ultra-rich.
22) It’ll hasten the Rapture.
23) Peace is for pussies.
24) Iranians revealed their diabolical anti-Americanism by putting their country in the middle of all our military bases.
There’s more. But I think this is a damn good start!
You have a problem with this? Too bad.
