John Rachel

Advance praise is arriving in leaps and bounds!

Of course, this unique book has been in development for seven years. Along the way, word of it has leaked and created an initial undercurrent of “buzz”. Now that the project finally came to fruition — official publication date was November 2nd — speculation is building and interest is snowballing.

Even the mermaids have weighed in!

“John did a good job on this book — for a topsider. I have to say this because from what I know about them, what I’ve seen on TV and movies, they’re usually a pretty strange bunch. But John has a good sense of humor, takes criticism well, and has an open, curious mind. And he closes his mouth when he chews.” – Syn, a mermaid who lives in the South China Sea.

“My contact with dry humans — we mermaids DO consider ourselves human — has been very limited. Sometimes someone falls overboard. Or gets swept out to sea in a strong current. Dry humans seem to be pretty lousy swimmers. Oh … and when I’m topside and order take-out, I get a glimpse of the delivery boy, or man, or girl. Whatever. Other than that, this John guy is it. He’s certainly the only one who’ve I’ve sat in a room with and been in close proximity to. He smells very flowery. Strong stuff! Cologne? Underarm deodorant? Why do dry humans dowse themselves with all these stinky chemicals?” – Claudia, a mermaid who lives in the South Pacific Ocean.

“Since meeting John Rachel, I’ve read some of his books. Crazy guy! But fun to read. We hit it off pretty good. He looks kind of old, though. I don’t get it. He’s what? 60 or 70? Last time I checked, I’m over 750-years-old. I don’t have any wrinkles at all.” – Cassandra, a mermaid who lives the Bay of Bengal and Indian Ocean.

“This writer guy, John, kept apologizing for asking stupid questions and saying stupid things. I thought he was just being funny. But there’s no reason for him to be embarrassed. I mean, EVERYTHING is different under water. I certainly have no need for a hair drier and ballpoint pens are pretty worthless. Ever try to lick a stamp at the bottom of a swimming pool? I like this book, What Do Mermaids Eat? Except the copy I took home with me only took three days to pretty much dissolve. Maybe I need a waterproof Kindle reader.” – Deehl, a mermaid who lives in the chilly waters of the Tasman Sea.

“When John talked about us in his book, he said we seemed to be an ‘item’. It took us a while to figure out what he meant. Honestly, we don’t have all these categories for love. We’re all just sisters down here. We love every mermaid we meet with the same intensity, sincerity, and passion. There’s no jealousy or competition. Maybe topsiders need to change the way they look at others. It works for us. Ever seen a sad or angry mermaid?” – Tanya and Chloe, two mermaids who live in the Caribbean Sea.

And at least one very special guest, who never heard of me, gave the book a nod.

“I haven’t read this book. I’m very busy.” – Stephen King, author of hundreds of best sellers, a very rich, eccentric as hell, but a lovable guy.

I don’t mean to be a broken record. Or a self-replicating binary glitch. But again I remind those folks who are keen for a bargain, pride themselves on the highest standards, and have an eye out for the truly beautiful: the ultimate deluxe full-color paperback is available pre-publication for a limited time (until November 2nd) for 25% off the regular price. We have here a genuinely stunning version of the book which you will be proud to show your friends or put on display in your living room or den.

What Do Mermaids Eat? direct from the printer. JUST DO IT!