The Worst Book in the History of the World!

Posted on November 28, 2020 by John Rachel

I’ve put the finishing touches on the worst book ever written.

Scheduled publication date is December 18, 2020 — a day that will go down in infamy.

This book will offend everyone.

The woke crowd will find it so politically incorrect, they’ll only stop gagging long enough to upchuck screechy memes about gender bias, misogyny, and homophobia.

Normal folks will find it beyond rude and insulting. They’ll see themselves in the story. It’s not a flattering picture.

Critics will resist even pretending to look at it. The plot is one long flat-line, the characters one-dimensional, the premise facile and implausible, the message superficial and without any redeeming qualities.

I’ve warned my friends and relatives to stay as far away from this piece of literary garbage as possible. If curiosity gets the better of them, I accept no blame and take no responsibility. They were warned.

Why would I write something like this?

That’s easy. In the world of digital publishing, in this age of internet mania, click bait, and mindgame porn, the #1 priority is to separate yourself from the crowd, stand out, get people talking. As an author, there are only two ways to do this. Either write the best book in the world or the worst. I took the easy route.

I’ve achieved what no other author has achieved, or even tried to achieve. This book is so bad, it’s in a class by itself.

It’s a sure #1 at Amazon in … 

Literature / Contemporary Fiction / Psychological Dystopia / Euthanasia / Brain Freeze / No Refunds

I’m asking each and every one of you out there to immediately buy this book. I don’t know most of you personally but I want your money. And you don’t know where I live. Don’t come looking for a refund.

Come on! Get on the bandwagon. Sex, Lies & Coffee Beans will give you something to talk about with every one else standing in the checkout lines at Walmart or waiting to get tested for Covid-19.

Posted in Books, Creativity, Deconstruction, Living On The Edge, Satire | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Life In Japan: Silver-san, aka Jinzai Centers

Posted on November 12, 2020 by John Rachel

I keep saying that every day brings new surprises and discoveries. I credit my brilliant wife Masumi with bringing to my attention this fascinating item.

Jinzai — 人材 — means human resources. But Jinzai Centers and their silver-san workers are a very special feature of life here in Japan.

‘Silver-san’ refers to workers who are over 65. They have retired from the jobs they held over the years but want to keep working. Often it’s just wanting to attempt something new, something completely different from what they did most of their lives. Jinzai Centers offer training and then assistance at finding employment for these folks. Working as a silver-san provides new challenges, allowing seniors to learn and apply skills they may have had an interest in over the years but never had the time to pursue.

Here is a partial list of silver-san jobs: tree trimming, gardening, accounting, carpentry, child care, single parent support, cooking and baking, shopping (for those who are house bound or physically unable to), home repair and maintenance, shopkeeping, the entire range of computer-related activities, vacation home care, agriculture, animal husbandry, maternity and newborn support.

This is not usually about money. Pensions here are typically quite adequate. Japanese people — in contrast to many in the West — just don’t like sitting around. They prefer to keep active. Staying busy, both physically and mentally, contributes to overall health, optimism, sense of value, and is likely a significant factor in the longevity of the Japanese. Life expectancy in Japan is 84.6 years — 81.25 for men, 87.32 for women — contrasted with 72.6 years for the entire world.

One thing for sure. These older workers are not stealing jobs from younger folks. Japan has a shrinking population. Thus there is increasingly a shortage of hands on deck, and jobs often remain unfilled waiting for someone to come along with the right set of skills.

Incidentally, more than 29% of the population here is over 65.

I fit right in!

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Life In Japan: Shirakawa-go

Posted on October 28, 2020 by John Rachel

There are some places in Japan that are so magical, the less said about them the better.

Shirakawa-go is one of them.

I will, however, give a little background to shine valuable light on the historical/cultural significance of this breathtaking spot.

Shirakawa-go is a village of thatch-roofed houses. The use of thatched roofs — kayabuki no yane (茅葺きの屋根) — goes back thousands of years. They are replaced every 30 to 50 years, a procedure known as yanefuki (屋根葺き), meaning roofing. Thatch comes from Japanese silver grass.

There are over 100,000 such traditional houses in Japan. In fact, in Tambasasayama, my home town, we have several.

This particularly charming traditional village is located in Shirakawa-mura (白川村), Gifu Prefecture, and is a UNESCO World Heritage Site.

Posted in Japan, Travel, UNESCO World Heritage | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Life In Japan: My Pergola

Posted on October 10, 2020 by John Rachel
No smashed thumbs so far!

‘My Pergola’ is not to be confused with My Sharona, a 1979 song by The Knack.

According to Wikipedia: “A pergola is an outdoor garden feature forming a shaded walkway, passageway, or sitting area of vertical posts or pillars that usually support cross-beams and a sturdy open lattice, often upon which woodyvines are trained.”

This is a story which will not make it into my epic new book, Live From Japan!, officially coming out Valentine’s Day 2021.

I’m merely posting here to “blow my own horn”, which according to the online Free Dictionary means: “To boast or brag about one’s own abilities, skills, success, achievements, etc.” I think that sums it up pretty well.

Last summer, I spent four weeks putting together a structure which provides in our very modest yard a pleasant place to relax, have fun, read a book, drink tea, eat lunch or barbecue.

Why did it take four weeks? Not making excuses, I improvised this the whole way. I had no blueprints, never even stopped to make any drawings myself . . . just made it up as I went.

This was actually fun! Seeing what I was imagining in my head gradually materialize was a real hoot. The downside was my having to make probably 40 or 50 trips to our three local home supply center/hardware stores — many on my bicycle — as I discovered along the way I needed some new bracket, set of screws, bolts, braces, tool, etc.

Since all the wood I bought was raw lumber, probably the most tedious chore was applying two coats of weatherproofing stain to every surface before assembling this monster. I call it a monster, because just the floor — as pictured at the beginning of this article — weighed in at 104 kg (229 lbs) and I had to get a muscular friend to help me move it to the spot in the garden where I would assemble the pergola, piece by piece.

Anyway, here’s what it looks like. Now we just have to see if it survives winter and typhoon season. Stay tuned!

Posted in Creativity, Japan, Spiritual | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

“Outside The Box”: Does it pass the sanity test?

Posted on September 30, 2020 by John Rachel

My insanely weird short story “Outside the Box” is featured in the most recent anthology from SCARS Publication. Apparently they liked it, since they named the entire collection after it.

It’s written in the first person, very unusual for me. I’m not sure why but I typically feel more comfortable writing in the third person.

I can’t say what inspired it. I’m not using hallucinogenic drugs. As it says on the back cover of my book on life here in Japan, which will be out early next year, I feel like I’m living in a fairy tale. Other than the complete disintegration of my homeland, the prospects that climate change will make the Earth uninhabitable, the class warfare being waged on the vast majority of us by the sociopathic ultra-wealthy — which apparently now even includes mass extermination to “cull the herd” — and what is increasingly looking more than likely, the annihilation of all life on the planet via a nuclear war, I’m as happy as a butterfly in spring on Bora Bora.

Here’s the real skinny on “Outside The Box” . . .

This is how my brain sometimes works. I make no excuses, offer no apologies, and certainly lose no sleep.

Celebrate it, condemn it, put out a call for intervention or institutionalization, whatever floats your boat . . . it’s what I do.

It’s what I like to do!

While I recommend you buy the anthology itself, if for no other reason than supporting independent publishers like this seems like a good idea and truth is there are some other great pieces in this collection, I’ll save you a few dollars. Yes, you can read my story below.

Have fun with it! Or skip it and go rollerblading. Your choice.

_____________________________________________________________

OUTSIDE THE BOX

I was surprised how easy it was to find the grave, and that it was unguarded.

I dug up the body, dragged it to just the right spot.

Then I kicked the shit out of Hunter S. Thompson.

He didn’t stand a chance. I punched, pounded, kicked, scratched, twisted his limbs, applying the most excruciatingly painful wrestling moves.

I kept this up until I literally fell over from exhaustion.

After resting a while, I rolled Thompson back into the grave, then shoveled the dirt back over him and left.

Of course, no one could know. And without it being public knowledge, I wasn’t sure exactly what advantage my cathartic corpse thrashing might achieve.

I guess I was thinking more spiritually – you know, big picture.

And let’s face it. We really don’t know how these things work. Sometimes we just have to let fly and hope for the best.

I have always felt a strong connection with Hunter S. Thompson. Especially when I was vomiting from too much to drink.

But it was deeper than just binge camaraderie.

I could feel his giddy acid in my veins. I guess my arteries too. I can’t imagine him without a sneer. And I can’t stop sneering.

So what was with the need for my posthumous pugilism?

Simple. The old bastard was becoming a thorn in my side. Holding me back. He was like having a brother with elephantitus. Or a sister who fucked the whole football team.

I didn’t stand a chance. My karma was like belly button lint in an ancient mummy.

People didn’t ignore me. To ignore someone, you have to know they exist.

Luckily I figured out exactly what had to be done.

I needed to settle the score. Level the playing field. Credit where credit is due.

I needed to beat the shit out of Hunter S. Thompson.

Think I’m crazy, right?

Well, suck on this: It worked!

It was like the Beatles … the fall of the Berlin Wall … MTV … 911 … Trump.

Everything changed!

Well, for me personally it did anyway.

I stopped at the dry cleaners to pick up my laundry. A shirt and a beach towel. I gave the lady a ten. She gave me change for a twenty. I kept it. Not my problem.

I noticed in my rear view mirror I looked conspicuously more handsome than usual. Others noticed too. A pretty girl, maybe mid-20s, pulled up next to me at a stop light. She looked over, smiled, winked, then made a jacking-off motion with her free hand. A come on. I just laughed. I would have loved to but too many STDs around these days. Never know where something like a simple hand job might lead.

Then I got a text message. Aunt Elizabeth – poor old soul – finally kicked the bucket. We’d been waiting forever. I already knew I had over $23,000 coming to me from the long-past-her-expiration-date spinster. She’d been in the hospital for over a year-and-a-half. What a relief!

The real game-changers were in the inbox of my gmail account. I could see on my iPhone I had messages but waited to read them on my computer at home.

Holy shit!

Three literary agents were interested in my novel, 50 Shades of Pubic Hair. They even attached contracts to their messages.

Granted, I have much better novels than this gratuitous piece of garbage. But you go with the flow. Maybe a little commercial success would grease the skids for next year’s Booker or maybe even Pulitzer.

I’ll skip all the rest of the glory details for now. It’ll just make whoever is reading this envious.

Besides, I’m running a little late. I’m speaking tonight at the Washington Press Club comedy roast of Julian Assange.

Never saw that coming. But why not?

All thanks to you, Hunter S. Thompson. And my taking charge of the situation.

Sorry about caving in your eyeball socket. Not that it should matter.

You were never much one for glamor and glitz.

Never a member of the glitterati. Me neither.

Posted in Books, Creativity, Living On The Edge, Nihilism, Satire | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Life In Japan: Awe-Inspiring Extreme Honesty

Posted on September 13, 2020 by johnrachel

The sub-title of my newest book begins “Anecdotes on the People and Culture of Contemporary Japan …”

Here are a few anecdotes which will give you phenomenal insights into the remarkably high ethical standards and general character of the Japanese people.

•  •  •

Text Box:

A friend of mine, originally from New Zealand but who lives in Japan, left her latest model Macbook Pro in a train station ladies room. For two hours! She had left it on the counter while she washed her hands and forgetfully walked out without it. By the way, this was one of the busiest hubs in Japan, the Umeda JR Station in Osaka. That restroom has hundreds of people going through it every hour. She got quite a ways along on her trip back here to Sasayama, remembered, jumped off, and immediately got on a train back to Osaka. She found her laptop right where she left it. Yes … two hours later!

•  •  •

Every year in October, we have here in Sasayama the Festival of the Portable Shrines. It’s one of my favorites!

Text Box:

A gentleman arrived here from Kobe, which is about an hour away. He came to purchase black beans, an item my home town is famous for, but when the moment came to pay, he discovered his wallet was missing. 

There are no pickpockets around here, so obviously he had dropped his wallet somewhere in town.

He went to the nearest Koban. There are several here in Sasayama, as there are all over Japan. A Koban is a mini-police station. In Japan, it’s considered an integral part of a functioning community. The Koban is to make sure there are friendly cops in the neighborhood to address problems which come up in the local area, situations just like this.

The policeman on duty took a report, then got on the phone. He called all the other Kobans in the immediate area, anywhere close to where the gentleman had parked his car, before walking into the main part of town for the festivities.

He passed along the man’s name and a description of the wallet. Now get this …

While the officer was on the phone with another Koban, someone walked in with the wallet and handed it to the policeman on duty there.

The gentleman from Kobe then walked the short distance to the other Koban, and retrieved his wallet. The contents — credit cards, ID, cash — were intact. Not a single item had been taken.

•  •  •

One Sunday many months ago, we went to, Rurikei, our favorite local onsen. This is one of the great joys of living here in Japan and we try to go often.

Anyway, I left my hair brush in the mens locker room. This was not a family heirloom. This was an 89 cent piece of plastic, dirty and full of my hair from use over many months. The only thing it had going for it was that it was a pleasant shade of lavender.

Five weeks later, we returned to the hot springs. On some impulse — my synapses tend to fire randomly at times — I asked at the counter if they had a purple hair brush in their lost-and-found box. Stupid me. I was thinking they had a cardboard box behind the desk. The clerk asked when I thought I had lost it. That was easy. Maybe four or five weeks ago? He stepped into the facility’s main office, consulted with someone, then returned with my 89-cent hair brush, safely contained in a sealed plastic bag with a label. On the label was the date I left it in the locker room.

•  •  •

Text Box:

Masumi reminded me of this story, one I had forgotten. One day we went to Japan Post to mail a package to the U.S. — I think it was one of my novels, sent off for a review. Shortly after we returned, the phone rang. It was the clerk who had waited on me at the post office. She first apologized. She had made a mistake and overcharged me. She was so sorry this happened! It was an honest mistake and would be happy to refund the money. How much was it? 10 yen. Unbelievable! Do you know how much 10 yen is at current exchange rates? 9.44 cents!

What did I do? I did what any red-blooded American would do in the face of such incompetence! I went to the post office with my AR-15 and shot the place up. I didn’t kill anyone, though obviously I could hardly be blamed if I had. But when I got done, the place looked like one of the Twin Towers on September 12!

Okay. Obviously, I made that up. The truth was, I was speechless. 10 yen? After I stopped laughing — pleasant, joyful laughing — I had Masumi tell the clerk all was forgiven and she could keep the 10 yen. I think you can probably buy a lollipop somewhere for 10 yen.

•  •  •

I could go on and on. For example, in the news several months ago, there was the story of a person who had found a satchel on a park bench with over 5 million yen (that’s $50,000 cash) and no identification of any kind in or on the bag. It was promptly turned into the police.

I’m not going to moralize. Draw your own conclusions.

But by seeing such extreme honesty here, I see what has happened to my own country. I’m not pointing fingers. I see it in my own thinking. It’s been quite an adjustment for me. After all, I grew up in a tug-of-war between what I was taught at home, school and church, and real world a prioris: ‘Finders keepers losers weepers.’ ‘It’s every man for himself.’ ‘If I don’t take it someone else will.’

As a kid, often it wasn’t a question of right or wrong, but a question of whether we’d get caught.

I will say that dishonesty, regardless of how minor or seemingly insignificant, is a slippery slope. The Japanese have chosen to avoid taking even the first step.

I openly admit, it’s resulted in a huge paradigm shift for me. It’s required an enormous adjustment. But an extremely rewarding one. Just imagine … being able to trust other people. What a concept!

Understand: This extreme level of honesty and respect for the property of others I’m describing here is not an anomaly. It’s the norm. And it’s nothing new.

My American friend, Scott Burley, recently emailed me about his brief but rewarding experiences visiting Japan. He included this story:

My girlfriend who I met sophomore year … went on a student exchange program to Tokyo for her junior year and went to school over there. She was 1/2 Japanese and 1/2 Czech and her parents were both Japanese — her mother must have married a Czech before her step father. So around Christmas I flew to Tokyo when she had Christmas break and we spent three weeks traveling by train … my girlfriend left her purse at a bus stop. I went back to look for it and it was gone. After we got back to Tokyo, one day her purse arrived in the mail. Only in Japan!

That was back in 1973. Some things don’t change here.

Sometimes it’s best when they don’t.

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Life In Japan: FBI

Posted on August 5, 2020 by johnrachel

We have camped all over Japan. And the campgrounds are always clean, well-organized, properly-equipped, friendly, quiet. If I have any complaint, it’s that many of them have few trees, thus the campsites have no privacy.

The notable exception to that is FBI — which stands for First-class Backpackers Inn — our favorite campground within easy driving distance of Tambasasayama.

FBI has a view of Mount Daisen, the highest volcanic peak in the area.

It’s in close proximity to Hiruzen, a town famous for its exceptional dairy products. The soft serve is to die for! So is their incredibly popular yogurt.

If you’re really in luck, you can pet Lovely, probably the most famous cow in the Eastern hemisphere, recognized and acclaimed for the white patch on her forehead in the shape of a heart.

For a complete change of pace, it’s also less than an hour from FBI to the Sea of Japan beaches. On our most recent trip, we walked along the shore and visited a still-operational lighthouse.

There is a whole range of camping options at FBI. We of course prefer to do the tent thing. But cabins and teepees are also available.

The cabins are the height of luxury for this type of facility, making me wonder why people just don’t stay in a hotel. Not quite sure how this is “camping”. In fact, there’s a term for it here in Japan. It’s called glamping — glamor camping.

I guess we do slumping . . . which would be slum camping.

FBI is very family-friendly with plenty to keep everyone occupied. There’s a trampoline, a swimming pool, restaurant, bar, hiking trails, kid’s treehouse, frogs, snakes, foxes, insects, everything needed to guarantee a splendid time for all, in the tamed wilds hunkered in the foothills of Mount Daisen.

For the maraschino cherry on top of this delicious camping experience, every evening they have a giant bonfire, very handy if you happened to bring along a 50 kg marshmallow.

Friends not familiar with Japan always express surprise when I tell them that camping is one of our favorite ways to tour the country. I have to remind them that Japan is not just cement and tall buildings with giant flat-panel displays advertising cafés, pachinko, and novelty shops. 70% of Japan is covered with forests. And we have an array of topological features which offer both stunning natural beauty and incredible variety: rivers, oceans, seas, mountains, valleys, hills, volcanoes, ponds, lakes, sand dunes, tropical rain forests (Okinawa), hundreds of kilometers of beaches, by golly even one semi-parched desert, finally, last but certainly not least, hundreds of islands. After all, Japan is an island!

Let me leave you with one last image, a side of Japan you don’t typically see . . .

We visited Hiruzen Farms on the way to FBI.

Posted in Deconstruction, Environment, Japan, Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Life In Japan: TVs on TV

Posted on August 4, 2020 by johnrachel

Gender roles are sharply defined in Japan. The simple truth is, men rule the roost here. Yes, folks, it’s a highly patriarchal arrangement. For example, the idea that marriage is a partnership, one that requires empathy, fairness, consideration, diplomacy, mutual respect and generosity, is more the exception than the rule. The man is the head of the household. His tyranny is regarded as absolute and accepted as normal. Women do his bidding, cook the meals, clean the house, take care of the kids. The man is the primary breadwinner and that fact is never forgotten.

It is no exaggeration to say that Japan is a “traditional” society in that respect, similar to what is seen across vast swaths of the planet’s inhabited surface. I include Africa, South America, and most of Asia.

Of course, there is push back for better treatment of women, equality in both the home and the workplace, for equal rights not just as a legal window dressing, but in all actual areas of the day-to-day functioning of society: economics, politics, social relations.

Progress toward equal pay is discernible but painfully slow. Women are grossly under-represented in leadership roles, especially in the corporate world. The majority of political figures are men. Women operate within this framework, don’t like it, merely tolerate it. Younger women are certainly promoting other options, so this will change over time. Frankly from what I’m seeing, this could take a very long time.

Having said all of that, while I as a matter of principle prefer a more “liberated” society, I’m not here to judge. I’m here to accurately report what’s happening on the ground.

What I see in Japan, then, in terms of the “battle of the sexes” is what we in the West would regard as garden variety male vs. female “conservatism”.

Extreme conservatism!

Now . . . try to imagine my surprise, amazement, total belly-laughing delight, when I discovered looking over my wife’s shoulder one evening after dinner, probably the most unconservative thing I could have imagined here or anywhere, something which is not just a common occurrence, but one that doesn’t prompt any reaction from Japanese people whatsoever. To them this is as normal as raw fish on rice.

I’m referring to . . .

TVs on TV!

(Translation)

Transvestites on television!

Mind you . . .

There are hundreds of brutal homicides, the result of homophobia in less the open-minded enclaves of the West, accounts of “redneck” men who completely lose it when confronted by gender-bending of any sort. Disputes about which bathroom a transexual should use sometimes scream out as the feature story on the nightly news hour. The world having 15,000+ nuclear bombs armed and ready to destroy the human race apparently is not something to be concerned about. But the idea that the person in the next stall in a restroom is a guy with eyeliner and silicone breast implants is the real threat.

But here in Japan, as conservative as this country is in some ways, having a guy dress up as a woman, at least from what I now often see, is an acceptable practice and regarded as normal entertainment fare anytime of day or night, even for family television. Astonishing!

I’ve seen a number of transvestites on various shows over the years. But Matsuko Deluxe — you have to love that name! — is hands-down the best known TV on Japanese TV. She’s everywhere! Comedy shows and advertisements are her main venues. But I see her on billboards, in magazines. Seriously. She’s everywhere!

Correct me if I’m wrong . . . but Matsuko Deluxe is not exactly a beauty queen.

But who can argue with success?

Uh-oh . . . I just realized. Maybe the title of this article — TVs on TV — is actually a little inappropriate, though I do frankly think it’s devastatingly clever. ‘Transvestite’ is a term rarely used anymore. With the new identity politics insurgencies in full swing, genders are proliferating way beyond the basic boy-girl binary I grew up with — according to some gender bender aficionados in the U.S., there are at least 64 and as many as 81 genders. As a result, the terms ‘transsexual’ and ‘transgender’ are the preferred nomenclature of the new woke stormtroopers — aka the PC Police — prompting many folks wonder if they should demand an induced coma, perhaps the only way of avoiding the minefield of attempting to formulate an acceptable sentence.

Truth is, the term I hear used most here all throughout Asia when referring to boys who are now girls — with or without a penis — is ‘ladyboy’. Ladyboys are not just “dressing up” or play acting. They are actually embracing all that it means to be a female. Frankly, many of them are more convincing females, than many females I’ve known over the years, especially in America, where feminism has savaged the whole idea of femininity. But that’s another whole topic.

The lady pictured on the right is also a ladyboy. She is used in an English teaching program here in Japan for explaining verb tenses. No, I’m not making this up. The lesson goes like this . . .

“This is Ms. Haruna Ai. She is a girl. She was a boy.”

Yes ! Excellent! Present tense. Present tense. Past tense. Got it!

And yes, the ‘Ms.’ is a nice touch. A nod to the legacy feminism of the 70s. Progress, no matter how you look at it, eh?

There you have it, ladies and gentlemen — and everything in between. A glimpse into gender blurring in post-modern Japan, where the man still wears the pants in the family . . . when he’s not wearing a mini-skirt.

Alright, folks!

Tell me you’re not amazed . . . shocked . . . astounded . . . speechless.

Impressed?

(Maybe a little bit?)

Posted in Deconstruction, Japan, Social Commentary, Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Life In Japan: Visitors

Posted on July 28, 2020 by johnrachel
The best way to see our town!

We’ve had a few visitors here in Japan, from other parts of the world.  It’s certainly always a welcome change of pace to have people come and stay with us.  We have a guest room in a two-story house affording decent privacy for all, and four bicycles.  Taking folks around our charming town is such a pleasure for us and usually a surprise for them.  Most people’s preconceptions of Japan are like what mine were before I finally came to this fascinating country. Big crowded cities, tall buildings, lots of cement and bright lights.  But the truth is, Japan is 70% covered with forest, and there is a breathtaking variety of landscapes: mountains, rivers, volcanoes, lush forests, beaches, valleys, lakes, and vast stretches of farm lands — some terraced — growing everything that can be grown here.

We are fortunate in that our traditional rural town, Tambasasayama, is situated within an hour-and-a-half of three major cities, Kyoto, Osaka, and Kobe, each quite distinctive and offering unique charms.  This affords easy access to the intensity of urban life, when we want a break from peace, quiet, fresh air, and the slow pace of a farm town.  In fact, the train system in Japan makes it possible to travel just about anywhere in the country, except Okinawa which is separated from the main islands by almost 1000 km (620 miles).  An auto isn’t necessary to see everything you might want to see, though the highway system is itself is spectacularly well-built, well-maintained, easily negotiated, and efficient.

Anyway, here are some of the good people who we’ve had the pleasure to host.

Gilly: My dear friend, Gilly, visited in 2012.  She arrived from France, though I actually knew her from Portland, Oregon, my last hometown in the U.S.  Very very sadly, Gilly has passed away, a victim of breast cancer. I’m so glad I got to see her one last time, and she got to meet Masumi. Gilly was an incredibly beautiful, highly evolved person, a respected teacher and skilled practitioner of an alternative health system called Body Talk. She was in Japan to give classes and offer treatment in Tokyo. She has certainly helped many, many people and spread a lot of love over the decade I knew her.

Owen: I met Owen at the Peace Stupa in Leh, Ladakh, in northern India. By pure coincidence, he has very strong connections to Japan and speaks fluent Japanese. He’s visited Japan a few times and we’ve buddied around. I met him in Osaka one time and we did the town. His last visit, he brought his fiancé Chi, a lovely Japanese lady, who he met in his native Australia. Owen is a very talented songwriter — another coincidence! — and in Ladakh, he and I jammed on keyboards and guitar with a Buddhist monk, a friend of the Dalai Lama. This sounds crazy, doesn’t it? But it’s true!

Travis and Michelle: Travis and I go way back. Best friends when I lived in Portland, Oregon, he and I worked together, hung out, wrote songs, played in bands together, did a lot of recording in my studio, spent countless hours discussing politics and philosophy. Back in those days, he and I went to New York and Los Angeles on music business. Travis is a multi-talented, truly brilliant guy. He and his wife, Michelle, came to Japan spring of 2014. She is now a librarian at a public school in Vancouver, Washington, where they live. Travis is into many things these days, building buildings, renovating houses, creating a financial empire, teaching “pickleball” — a variant of tennis — mastering golf.

Alex / Alex and Corine: In 2010, I lived in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam for almost six months. It was there I met Alex. For his last couple weeks in the country, we got to know each other and I got to know what an incredibly special person he is. We kept in touch. In fact, July 2013 Masumi and I visited Alex in Den Haag, Netherlands where he lives. He was a phenomenal tour guide and not only showed us around the immediate area, but introduced us to Amsterdam, one of the real highlights of that holiday in Europe. Then in 2016, he brought his girlfriend Corine for two weeks here in Japan. Alex was so enamored with the country, he returned solo December 2018. We talk two or three times a month via Skype. Alex is one of my all time favorite people!

Moose and Carmen: Masumi and I met Moose — his real name is Börge — and Carmen during our trip to Russia and Scandinavia, summer of 2015. We couchsurfed their place in Stockholm for three days. They were perfect hosts! Then they came to Japan to enjoy the blossoming of cherry blossoms in 2019, and we not only showed them around town here, but took them to Himeji to see the famous castle there. At the end of their stay here, they announced that they were expecting a baby, and little Joel became a member of their family later in the year. From Tambasasayama, Moose and Carmen headed off on their own to Koyasan, Nara, Kyoto, and to attend a sumo practice in Tokyo. Morning sickness and sumo wrestling? Does that sound like a good combination?

Masumi and I have talked about opening a B&B after she retires from teaching. We love having people stay with us, love meeting people from other countries. We especially enjoy having friends come to visit. I keep the bikes oiled and tuned, make sure the tires are inflated. Nothing beats being prepared.

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Life In Japan: Sophie, Cinderella Orphan

Posted on July 22, 2020 by johnrachel

It’s quite a story how Sophie came into our lives.

Masumi was going to her drum lesson at the other end of town. This was at the Yamaha music education space, which happened to be across the street from a factory.

As she got out of the car, a skinny calico came running from the factory yard right up to her. The poor thing was undernourished, had runny eyes, in general looked sick and sickly. But she had lots of energy and came right up to Masumi, reached up on Masumi’s legs and cried for help. Normally, street cats are very skittish and unapproachable. This little kitty was completely the opposite. She wanted attention and affection.

Masumi’s drum lesson lasted over an hour. When she came back out, the calico was still there, waiting for her “chosen” friend. She continued to cry and rub up against Masumi, and when she opened the car door, the kitty jumped in the car!

Next I got a call. “What should I do? This poor little kitty jumped in my car. She wants me to take her home.”

We decided that whatever was to happen, we should try to help this poor creature out. She was in trouble, it was winter, no way would she survive in her condition outdoors in the yard of a factory. What was she living on? Was she getting fed?

Masumi drove with the calico in a cardboard box directly to our vet. Poor little thing was starving, had worms, and a bad cold. How could we turn her away? Masumi came home and it was no decision. If we could manage it, this new kitty would join our family.

The immediate serious issue was whether our new friend had either kitty HIV or leukemia, both of which are fatal within a couple years of infection. Both are also very contagious and are common among “street cats”. We had concern about Arthur and Jennifer catching one of these dread diseases. At the vet, at least for now, the calico tested negative for both but we’d have to wait four weeks and have her retested, in case she had just recently gotten infected. Four weeks isolated from our other two cats!

We set up a room. I spent about half my time keeping her company for the next month and grew incredibly attached. She was hysterically funny, so full of affection and appreciation. Our other cats, Arthur and Jennifer, spent countless hours at the door of the quarantine room wondering just who this mystery guest was. They heard her frolicking, jumping around the room, using me as a cat tower, slowly gaining strength, health and energy.

We decided on a name . . . Sophie!

Four weeks crawled by. It was time for a “final verdict” from our veterinarian.

I have to say that after all that time in quarantine with her, it would have broken my heart if her tests had come back positive. But she was clean! As soon as Masumi returned from the vet, she brought Sophie into the house, opened the carrier. Arthur and Jennifer got to meet the newest member of the family.

The three of them are to this day the best of friends, regularly play together, are very affectionate to one another. The perfect ending! Sophie is truly the most delightful kitty I’ve ever had. She cuddles up to me several times a day while I’m writing, brings both Masumi and I toys she wants us to play with, sleeps with us every night.

So . . .

Finally, in a long-overdue recognition of Sophie’s long, dramatic journey in becoming a member of our family, our local newspaper has published the brief notice you see above. It merely says she has brought much joy to our household. Talk about an understatement.

Sophie is definitely one-of-a-kind, an “orphan” and a real Cinderella story!

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