Life In Japan: 2nd Day of Spring

Have I ever mentioned how crazy the weather is here?

Crazy? Crazier than what?

I guess I’m comparing it to the predictability I became accustomed to in Michigan, California, and Oregon.

In Michigan, we had starkly contrasting seasons. Despite the rigors of surviving the cold, the blizzards, the ice storms of Michigan winters, it all made sense and seemed to be on a fairly tight schedule. California was so predictable, fighting the meteorological boredom was the greatest challenge. Portland, Oregon was predictably wet. It rained 200-250 days a year.

I’m not sure what produces the huge swings in weather here in Tambasasayama, Japan. I just know that, when I head out on my bike, my backpack has to cover a very wide range of contingencies. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve left the house dressed sympatico with the brilliant, warm sunshine and soothing, calm air, to return less than an hour later fighting gale winds, drenched to the bone as a result of a major downpour. Two consolations are that I haven’t yet been sucked into the eye of a tornado or hit by lightning. Both were quite common in Michigan.

Case in point: The first day of spring was sunny and pleasant, hearkening the onset of fine days ahead, strolls through town, picnics in the park. The second day of spring is pictured above.

Of course, a lot has changed over the decades. I left Michigan in 1980. I left California in 1995. I left Oregon in 2006. Has Mother Nature put the pedal to the metal on climate change? Is that it? I’m not really sure. Recent photos on the internet don’t show palm trees in Michigan or glaciers in Los Angeles. They do have lots of fires in California. Maybe it’s people forgetting to put out their campfires. Or karma. You know, Sodom and Gomorrah. Portland, Oregon has been and still is — to my best understanding — just weird. Nothing new there. Maybe new weirdness?

I’ll have to rely on you readers to tell me. Are you seeing this? Is the weather topsy-turvy, nutso, bat-shit, whack, freaky-deaky where you live? Leave your comments below.

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Life In Japan: Otsuka Museum of Art

Japan continues to dazzle and amaze me. This past weekend, Masumi took me to the Otsuka Museum of Art, and it was one of the most incredible things I’ve ever seen. It is located on Shikoku island and until recently was the largest art facility in Japan, 29,412 square meters (316,588 square feet).

This museum has extremely high-quality reproductions, a collection of all of the greatest paintings of the West. If they left one out, I don’t know what it is. It embraces a span of over two millennia, from Egyptian and Greek antiquities up through the modern art of the 20th Century. As the museum explains: “The museum houses over one thousand reproductions of treasured Western artworks specially selected by a six-member committee, from ancient frescoes to modern paintings in the collections of more than 190 galleries in 26 countries around the world.”

To capture the exact color of the originals, they use photographic imaging which is then transferred to ceramic panels. Any anomalies are expertly touched up by hand, the entire process guaranteeing faithfulness to the originals and permanence. These reproductions will stand up over time infinitely better than the original paintings themselves. They will retain their color and resolution for 2000 years.

The facility is so huge, to view all of the galleries, requires walking 4 kilometers (2 1/2 miles)! And get this. Every single painting is life-size. Yes . . . the exact size as the original.

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They even have a full-scale model of the Sistene Chapel. I’ve been in the Sistene Chapel in Vatican City and it was astonishing to see it replicated perfectly.

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By the way, the grounds — which includes the roof of the complex — are also quite stunning.

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In any case, here is just a tiny sampling of the 1000+ works of art on display.

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I was so overwhelmed by all of the Christian art, I dropped to my knees for the first time in over a half century.

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Life In Japan: Music Education

I continue to be amazed at the level of education here in Japan. While test scores are falling in the West, those here and in China continue to rise.

Most concern about academic performance focuses on math and reading ability, but since my wife, Masumi, is a music teacher, I get to take a close look at music education. Schools here consider music an important part of overall development, realization of full human potential. I’m always astonished at what Masumi gets her students to do, culminating in a concert each year, attended by proud parents. Though she teaches 2nd through 6th grade, the musical pieces the kids master are by any stretch not simple.

It starts as soon as the kids arrive at school. Kindergarten is two years here, for four and five year olds. The following videos are from a school in Tokyo. We’ll start with a performance by five-year-old Kindergarteners.

Pretty amazing, eh? If that didn’t blow your mind, here are FOUR-YEAR-OLD kindergarteners from the same school.

Finally, here are students at all levels, Kindergarten through 6th grade of the same elementary school, performing an excerpt from Beethoven’s 9th Symphony.

Kids love to be challenged. A big part of confidence and self-esteem comes from improvement and a real sense of accomplishment. I wonder if kids in the West are over-pampered and their egos shielded from the horrors of failure, at the expense of ever attempting and achieving excellence. Just a thought that occurs to me when I see what’s happening the public education in America.

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A Page From God’s Diary

As is common knowledge, hackers rule the digital realm. There’s no room to hide. These subversive geniuses can get into any system, any file, whether it’s protected by encryption, firewalls, or passwords which would stump most supercomputers.

I was doing an internet search and stumbled on an amazing hacker story.

It was a posting put up by a guy who claimed he hacked God’s personal diary. 

No, I’m not making this up!

It appeared on the Dark Web, something I have heard about but certainly never have had an interest in exploring. Actually I was doing a Duck-Go-Go search for ‘dank web memes’, spell correct kicked in — which I didn’t notice — and I was suddenly looking at the strangest collection of links I’ve ever seen. The one that caught my eye was a post by ‘bacon heezy’. He showed a recently-penned entry — it couldn’t have been more than a couple days ago, though they use very different calendars “up there” — from GOD’S DIARY, posting it for bragging rights and, of course, for our edification.

So here we go …

A PAGE FROM GOD’S DIARY – Posted on Dark Web chat group “cosmic dildo farm”

Don’t those idiots down there read the Bible. Granted there were a few Earth millennia when I threw major hissy fits left and right. Telling people to kill their families, inciting wars, sending bears to mutilate children, turning people into pillars of salt, promoting genocide, killing Egyptian babies, killing people for complaining about my killing them — not exactly my best moments. Thank goodness the Heavenly dispensary finally got some mood elevators in stock. 

Regardless. There’s a lot of good shit in the Bible, directly from Yours Truly, since I can claim credit. Love thy neighbor. Forgive your enemies. Turn the other cheek — actually I’m having serious doubts about that one these days. And then there was the greatest piece of street theater in the whole of human history, beginning with the bit about me getting Mary knocked up — without a peep of protest from good old stoic Joseph (I really like that dude). After the “virgin birth”, carpenter’s son grows up to be the best con artist ever, leads flocks of toadies and groupies from one end of the desert to another. And then the big finale: you gotta admit, the whole crucifixion thing was pure genius. I challenge the best playwrights and Hollywood script writers to top THAT SADISTIC MESS!

Okay, I’m rambling. But I’m God. So I’ll do whatever I want.

At the same time, there is a point to this, prompted by my sheer disgust with how this human genome experiment has turned out. It seemed like a pretty decent idea at the outset. But once Adam and Eve got wind of free will and ironically decided their private parts were something to be ashamed of, things started to go south. I mean it’s taken a while to get to the crisis stage I’m seeing now. Now apparently these dumb fucks down on Earth are bent on destroying themselves! What kind of exercise of free will is that? They’ve got the biggest, baddest brains on terra firma, in the clear blue sky, and in the oceans, and all they can do is poison the planet, junk up the landscape, bicker like school children, turn forests into deserts, melt the ice caps, kill practically everything that walks on four legs or has gills, rape, pillage, plunder, and invent more lethal weapons to kill one another. What percentage of their brain power drives this hopeless scenario? A cockroach could see this won’t end well — my money is on the cockroaches who will survive the gore fest, feisty little buggers that they are.

I may be God, and true, I could intervene and shut all the bad shit down with a blink of my Omniscient Eye. But what would be the point? Too many humans have become drama queens, sociopaths, crooks, liars, psychopaths, selfish dickheads, drunks, drug addicts, sex addicts, or almost as bad, terminally lazy go-along-to-get-along pussies. They shouldn’t be called homo sapiens. They should be called homo patheticus! 

Humble Guy that I am, I’ll admit I called this whole human thing wrong. And by the way, being God I can be wrong without being wrong. Because I’m right about being wrong.

Anyway, I thought that their amazing art, music, poetry, literature, their altruism, good faith, basic decency, and love of Me would triumph. But evil seems to have won the day. And I don’t mean your average garden variety evil. I mean EVIL EVIL! Apocalyptic, epic, hyper-extreme evil!

But listen haters, don’t go pointing fingers. I did my job. Then I just set it loose. It was supposed to improve, build on my Heavenly created-in-the-image-of-you-guessed-it . . . ME!  But somehow a screwdriver got inserted in the spokes. And now look at how it’s turning out. It’s a horror show!

Okay, I’m tuckered out. Time for some Godly shut eye. I’ll just say, I wish these dopes on Earth knew how pissed I am at what’s going on down there. REALLY PISSED! I’m so angry I almost feel like resorting to being the vengeful asshole I too often was in the Old Testament, and visiting the entire planet with the wrath only I’m capable of. A big wake-up call. The Seven Plagues would by comparison look like a Disney E-ride. Yeah, this calls for a good dose of humility. “Listen, you fuck ups! You are nothing compared to the Major Domo who created you. You are like lumps of string cheese melting in the sun. Don’t mess with Me. And Goddammit, change course — change everything you’re doing — start getting it right, or IT’S GAME OVER.” I’m not blowing smoke here! And the joke is on you, because you’ll destroy yourselves! How Shakespearian.

Alright, sometimes the Creator of Everything That Was, Is, and Will Be, needs to get a few things off His chest. But now it’s time to dream of angels, rainbows, lollipops, and My “son’s” night with Mary Magdalene. Now she’s a keeper!

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Chiang Mai, Thailand: Karen Tribe Farmstay

The Karen Tribe people are from the Kayin State, which is the southern/southeastern region of Myanmar. They are not one people. Per Wikipedia: “Karen refers to a heterogeneous lot of ethnic groups that do not share a common language, culture, religion, or material characteristics.”

While most Karen have remained in Myanmar and comprise 7% of the population there, like the Hmong, many have migrated and made Thailand their home, especially in the proximity of the Thai/Myanmar border. “There are another 400,000 Karen in Thailand, where they are by far the largest of the hill tribes.”

When we were in Chiang Mai, Thailand last summer, Masumi and I stayed on a Karen-owned and operated agritourism farm and what an amazing experience it was! Our room was a cabin built on stilts.

Here was the view we had.

Of course, it was a real farm and people were working.

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We had phenomenal time exploring the huge farm.

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The food was great!

Here we are with the incredibly charming owner of the farm. He inherited the property from his Karen Tribe family, then turned the farm into a tourist attraction.

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Chiang Mai, Thailand: Elephant Camp

Masumi and I are fascinated by elephants. Around Chiang Mai, there are a number of places to see them. We chose this particular one because they are very humane in their treatment of the elephants. They don’t have rides or other activities which are often considered abusive to these amazing creatures. If you choose, however, you can bathe with them in the river. Since we didn’t have our bathing suits with us, we had to pass.

Our first big surprise was how spacious and beautiful the camp grounds were!

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To put it mildly, the elephants seemed very glad to see us — it might have been the basket of food we had purchased — and generally quite content with their new home at the Elephant Camp.

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Unfortunately, I doubt if any of our new larger-than-life friends will be visiting us very soon in Japan. I think they’d have trouble getting through Immigration.

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Chiang Mai, Thailand: Illusion Art Museum

Maybe it’s cultural bias, but I usually don’t associate the countries of southeast Asia, all of which I’ve personally visited — Thailand, Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia, and Myanmar — with “cutting edge” or “high-tech” art.

Our recent visit to Chiang Mai, Thailand certainly proved me wrong. Masumi and I discovered one of the most spectacular art museums I’ve ever encountered … the Illusion Art Museum.

First, consider the animated Mona Lisa video encountered in the lobby of the museum.

That was nothing compared to the unique and mind-boggling interactive works inside. Feast your eyes on these!

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After that spectacular experience, exiting the main display galleries we ended up here. Looks like a pen and ink drawing of a café, eh?

Nope. It’s a real café!

There are many exceptional things to see and do in Chiang Mai. If you visit there, the Illusion Art Museum should be high on your list.

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Chiang Mai, Thailand: Coconut Market

There are an abundance of “markets” in Chiang Mai. Usually their names correspond to their location, time frame when they’re held, who’s represented, what specialty goods are available. The night market is at night. The weekend market is on the weekend. The main street market is on the main street. A craft market features crafts by local artists.

When Masumi and I visited Chiang Mai, we drove to the outskirts of town to see a charming affair called The Coconut Market. Since I love coconut cookies, coconut shakes, coconut milk (slurped right from the coconut shell), I was anticipating a coconut paradise. Only problem was that the coconuts were still in the trees and I didn’t have a ladder.

But overall, it was a rather pleasant experience, offering a friendly, relaxed shopping excursion.

We wandered, we explored, we talked, we smiled. Everyone accepts Visa and Mastercard.

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Thailand is a very laid-back country, with laid-back people. It’s fairly safe everywhere, especially compared to Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam, where petty crime is a constant threat. Things are more intense in the south, the cities bustling, the islands hopping with full moon parties and walk-on-the-wild-side tourists.

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Chiang Mai, Thailand: Hmong Village

The Hmong are a unique indigenous people who have populated southern China for at least 8000 years. Unfortunately, in the 18th and 19th Centuries, they were targeted by the Qing Dynasty for extermination. This prompted most of them to migrate to other countries in southeast Asia: mainly Laos, Vietnam, and Thailand.

Masumi and I first encountered the Hmong in northern Vietnam in 2010. Here I am being greeted by them at the train station in Sapa, not far from the Chinese border.

More recently, on our return trip to Thailand — we were last there in December 2019, right before Covid shut down the world for travel — we visited a Hmong Village near Chiang Mai.

This is a real, functioning village. At the same time, it has been made “tourist friendly”, to encourage travelers to visit, learn about Hmong culture and crafts, and hopefully inject some money into their struggling community. It’s not easy for non-indigenous people to survive in Thailand. There are no factories or fast food restaurants to provide employment. All income for the town is generated within the closed, internal economic environment of the town.

There are some beautiful areas in the village, but most of it consists of bare-bone shops and rather shoddy residences, far from what could be called luxurious.

Let’s start with the gardens.

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The town looked fairly typical of this part of the world. Lots of corrugated iron; crafts, clothing and jewelry shops; populated with friendly people and cute kids.

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There was even a very modest Hmong museum.

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Now, those who’ve been following my writings here know that one of Masumi’s and my favorite things is to dress up in traditional costumes for the various and exotic locations and cultures we’ve encountered in our travels. We were in luck! The Hmong Village afforded just such a diversion. We frolicked around in one of the gardens for an hour, dressed as Hmong!

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Without a doubt, that was the highlight of our visit!

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Chiang Mai, Thailand: Cooking School

Masumi and I love to travel and have been many places around the world. To name them: Germany, Netherlands, France, Luxembourg, Switzerland, Italy, Slovenia, Austria, Russia, Estonia, Sweden, Norway, Denmark, USA, Thailand, Malaysia, Vietnam, India, Hong Kong, and South Korea. And of course, we’ve gone from one end of Japan to the other, Hokkaido to Okinawa and much in between.

But for four years, until this summer, we couldn’t travel internationally. Covid lockdowns and related travel obstacles put our wanderlust on hold. Our last trip was to Chiang Mai, Thailand, end of December 2019/beginning of January 2020. Now, with the fear porn of the “pandemic” at least temporarily suspended — I say that because I see their ramping it up again now targeting a return of many Covid restrictions in October — we boarded a plane late July and returned to Chiang Mai, I guess to pick up where we left off.

The trip was only eight days but it was action-packed and full of pleasant surprises. Maybe it was the rebound of being “let out of the cage” that created the perfect mindset, or maybe it truly was spectacular. Whatever the case, we both agreed that this was one of our best vacations ever!

To get things off to a unique start, the day after we arrived, we went to a Thai cooking school. We really lucked out and got the best instructor/stand-up comedian of the lot. That’s our class in the photo at the top and our instructor is the lady with the yellow apron bottom left. A lot was packed into six hours of hands-on learning the secrets of Thailand’s exotic, delicious, if sometimes way-too-spicy cuisine.

The school van picked us up at our guest house early in the morning. First stop: a local market to . . . well, I guess to shop.

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Next we arrived at the school, and Masumi immediately made a new friend.

Our next stop was the garden, where they grew herbs and spices, mushrooms and marijuana. Yes, marijuana, which any user will tell you makes everything taste great! This is interesting. Since we last visited Thailand, marijuana has been legalized and we saw dispensaries all over the city. They’re in such abundance, they may eventually surpass massage parlors in ubiquity. Now I assume these new enterprises are meant to service the thousands of tourists, as well as local stoners. What was truly astonishing is that in eight days, glancing in the shop windows as we strolled by, I never saw a single customer in these shiny new stores. Not one! Not sure what to think, other than there are going to be a lot of these ganja shops filing for bankruptcy in the very near future.

Anyway, back to the herb and spice garden. Our teacher took us on a tour, we pinched various spice plants, rolled their leaves between our thumb and fingers, smelled them, occasionally tasted them. Not much else to say about it. I guess it was a bit of an epiphany for yours truly that herbs did not magically appear on the shelf of a supermarket in bottles with fancy labels on them, stamped with an expiration date.

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Now it was time to get down to business. I’ll spare you the minute details. Suffice it to say that Masumi was a model student, but I was designated class clown for my ability to mangle simple, easily-comprehended directions, managing to do just the wrong thing, or the right thing at the wrong time. Nevertheless, somehow, by the grace of the food gods, perhaps purely by accident, I produced some rather delicious cuisine . . . if I can claim some bragging rights here.

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The final phase of our instruction, though it actually seemed out of order, was the preparation of pepper, both green and red, which seem to find their way into the preponderance of cuisine in this unique and colorful country. I mean hot pepper, not ordinary pepper. Use of this caustic substance is fairly common in the East. In South Korea, they serve dishes which could start a forest fire in Antarctica. India is another country that comes to mind when I think of pepper, and its wicked step-sister, curry. We learned how to grind into a lethal paste this venomous herb, which I think it God’s way of giving us a preview of Hell.

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I was able to capture briefly how funny, energetic, enthusiastic, and entertaining our teacher was for this entire educational experience. Here it is. What a hoot!

Our teacher was pure delight!

So there you have it. An unforgettable six hours learning to make inedible food — just kidding! Our final dishes weren’t that spicy. At least we didn’t have to call an ambulance.

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