I think it’s about time we settle the whole Jesus/Son of God/Savior of Mankind thing once and for all.
After all, there’s so much dispute about what Jesus said, what He did, what He meant, why He was here, even who He was.
Basically all of this comes down to the question about His divinity. That in one giant gulp swallows everything else. It’s the elephant — or maybe whale (see Jonah 1:17) — in the room.
So I’m issuing a challenge to Jesus Christ, upon His return to Earth.
Here’s my challenge . . .
When the Man-Who-Died-On-The-Cross-and-Lived-to-Tell-About-It returns to our sorry planet — as we all know, this encore appearance is referred to among the reverent as the Second Coming — we’re going to first straight away settle the whole omnipotence thing.
After giving Him a few days much needed R and R to get His bearings and get back up to Savior speed — God knows what the jet lag must be coming that distance — we’re going to sit Him down to an arm wrestling contest. Yes, that’s right. An arm wrestling contest!
Let’s see what He’s made of.
Let’s see once and for all if He’s really got the right stuff!
If Jesus wins, He will be crowned King of . . . of . . . well . . . everything.
If He loses, He owes us a big apology. Really big! . . . considering all of the time and money we’ve spent on cathedrals, churches, prayer books, pipe organs, hymnals, the Pope Mobile.
Let me state unequivocally, I think it’s important here to pit Him against the best that the atheists have on their side. To be quite honest, I can’t really say I’m up to speed on atheist arm wrestling, so you folks out there who are familiar, help me out here, by choosing from among your heathen flock who you think can finally put Jesus in His place. Seriously, give it your best shot! He may come off as a wimpy preacher/philosopher/guru kind of guy — generally these touchy-feeley types are not exactly known for their athleticism — but if He truly is the Son of God and all-powerful as widely claimed, He’s bringing more to the table than steroid-soaked, pumped-up muscles. Certainly don’t underestimate Him. You might want to think David and Goliath. This calls for brain and brawn. Jesus supposedly had a formidable bag of tricks at His disposal first time around — raising the dead, changing water to wine, cripple maintenance and repair, leper healing, fishes and loaves, water walking — so He’s definitely not a lightweight!
Folks, I’d say we’re in for a real mega-event here, the veritable Super Bowl of Metaphysics! The World Series of Cosmology! Why, I wouldn’t be surprised if Arm Wrestling Mania sets new pay-per-view records.
Then when this battle of the biceps is over — and I have no personal stake in the outcome except for the life savings I placed on a bet with a rather tawdry bookie here in Japan — I hope once and for all we have the answers we’ve been looking for and can move on to tackling the bigger, more pressing questions of our troubled times.
Like . . .
Why did they kill off Will Gardner in the hit TV series “The Good Wife”?
WHY?!!
Arm Wrestling Jesus
After all, there’s so much dispute about what Jesus said, what He did, what He meant, why He was here, even who He was.
Basically all of this comes down to the question about His divinity. That in one giant gulp swallows everything else. It’s the elephant — or maybe whale (see Jonah 1:17) — in the room.
So I’m issuing a challenge to Jesus Christ, upon His return to Earth.
Here’s my challenge . . .
When the Man-Who-Died-On-The-Cross-and-Lived-to-Tell-About-It returns to our sorry planet — as we all know, this encore appearance is referred to among the reverent as the Second Coming — we’re going to first straight away settle the whole omnipotence thing.
After giving Him a few days much needed R and R to get His bearings and get back up to Savior speed — God knows what the jet lag must be coming that distance — we’re going to sit Him down to an arm wrestling contest. Yes, that’s right. An arm wrestling contest!
Let’s see what He’s made of.
Let’s see once and for all if He’s really got the right stuff!
If Jesus wins, He will be crowned King of . . . of . . . well . . . everything.
If He loses, He owes us a big apology. Really big! . . . considering all of the time and money we’ve spent on cathedrals, churches, prayer books, pipe organs, hymnals, the Pope Mobile.
Let me state unequivocally, I think it’s important here to pit Him against the best that the atheists have on their side. To be quite honest, I can’t really say I’m up to speed on atheist arm wrestling, so you folks out there who are familiar, help me out here, by choosing from among your heathen flock who you think can finally put Jesus in His place. Seriously, give it your best shot! He may come off as a wimpy preacher/philosopher/guru kind of guy — generally these touchy-feeley types are not exactly known for their athleticism — but if He truly is the Son of God and all-powerful as widely claimed, He’s bringing more to the table than steroid-soaked, pumped-up muscles. Certainly don’t underestimate Him. You might want to think David and Goliath. This calls for brain and brawn. Jesus supposedly had a formidable bag of tricks at His disposal first time around — raising the dead, changing water to wine, cripple maintenance and repair, leper healing, fishes and loaves, water walking — so He’s definitely not a lightweight!
Folks, I’d say we’re in for a real mega-event here, the veritable Super Bowl of Metaphysics! The World Series of Cosmology! Why, I wouldn’t be surprised if Arm Wrestling Mania sets new pay-per-view records.
Then when this battle of the biceps is over — and I have no personal stake in the outcome except for the life savings I placed on a bet with a rather tawdry bookie here in Japan — I hope once and for all we have the answers we’ve been looking for and can move on to tackling the bigger, more pressing questions of our troubled times.
Like . . .
Why did they kill off Will Gardner in the hit TV series “The Good Wife”?
WHY?!!