I confess to being schizophrenic.
There are two distinct personalities co-existing in this one John Rachel.
One is the political, driving my skewed commentary on world events … often resulting in death threats.
The other is the artistic, inspiring my work as a novelist. This often results in … more death threats.
Hmm. Am I doing something wrong?
In any case, everyone can breathe easy. This is not a political rant.
In fact, it’s a celebration!
Six years ago, while living in Nepal and India, I wrote the initial draft of The Man Who Loved Too Much. Gosh, I was proud, hopeful, ecstatic. Much work and many long hours went into this patently semi-autobiographical tome, which weighed in at over 800 pages.
Like the clueless and naive apprentice that I was, I sent my masterpiece out to hundreds of publishers and literary agents. The unanimous reaction was that it was too long! Too long? Maybe I should have called it The Man Who Wrote Too Much.
Understandably, I was both confused and disappointed. The Bible is more than 800 pages and look how well it has sold!
I went into a self-destructive death spiral of anxiety and depression, tragically resulting in my suicide __ asphyxiation by immersing my face in an iron pot full of dal bhat.
Ha ha ha! Just seeing if you were paying attention.
Actually, I put the book aside and wrote five more novels, hundreds of political blogs __ apparently my appetite for death threats is insatiable __ three screenplays, a number of songs, carved my initials in a bench at a city bus stop, sent out over 6,000 Tweets . . . and changed the banner on my Facebook page three times. Wow! Talk about being productive. I’m so impressed with myself!
Anyway, my lovely wife and I were camping through Europe a couple summers ago, when I was gobsmacked by an epiphany. Our tent was pitched outside of Bern, Switzerland, and I was floating on my back in the cold Alpine waters of the Aare River . . . when it hit me.
The Man Who Loved Too Much should be a trilogy!
Yes, I would take that monster the size of the New York Manhattan phone directory and split it into three. With a blessedness that would rival the Trinity in the greater scheme of things, people would then flock to my inspired words. Surely these novels would kick the Bible itself out of first place as the best selling book ever!
As they say, the rest is history.
Six years.
My trilogy is complete.
When sending death threats, please attach a $100 bill.
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The Man Who Loved Too Much – Book 1: Archipelago
Fellow lovers of literature! Here we begin the story of Billy Green. With all of the swell advantages of growing up in beautiful Detroit, Michigan . . . what could possibly go wrong? Aren’t you maybe just a little bit curious?
Darn . . . I know I was.
And folks, because I genuinely believe in the power of impulse, there’s no reason to postpone a decision you will always regret. This epic faux pas is available NOW!
Apple iBook . . . apple.co/1nkebQx
Amazon (Kindle) . . . amzn.to/1tyIRiw
Amazon (Print) . . . amzn.to/1z8F8aD
Barnes & Noble . . . bit.ly/ZDnQVO
Kobo (Indigo) . . . bit.ly/1Og3q8g
Smashwords . . . bit.ly/1w62HOX
Direct from printer . . . bit.ly/1r6qWYQ
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The Man Who Loved Too Much – Book 2: Entendre
The Billy Green saga continues! Billy’s challenging, sometimes humorous, sometimes tragic, always unpredictable journey.
Our boy from Detroit was more determined than ever to find meaning in life and comfort in love. He failed.
Admittedly, this is the darkest of the three books.
Available from all of the usual suspects!
Apple iBook . . . apple.co/1P29tDl
Amazon (Kindle) . . . amzn.to/18x1ZnS
Amazon (Print) . . . amzn.to/1xfmjp3
Barnes & Noble . . . bit.ly/18OGY85
Kobo (Indigo) . . . bit.ly/1OS86XB
Smashwords . . . bit.ly/1AMUCPz
Direct from printer . . . bit.ly/1Du7Esh
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The Man Who Loved Too Much – Book 3: Oxymoron
How do we function in a world which is both as randomly and intentionally cruel, as it is randomly and intentionally kind? Can we make sense of our lives when so much around us makes no sense?
In this, the final book of the trilogy, we find out what it means to be a “man who loves too much”. Even more importantly, we discover if Billy Green is such a man.
Whew! Heavy stuff.
Apple iBook … http://apple.co/1W9y6gF
Amazon (Kindle) . . . amzn.to/1LJnMcX
Amazon (Print) . . . amzn.to/1NZPU9Y
Barnes & Noble . . . bit.ly/1fvzxXD
Kobo (Indigo) . . . bit.ly/1mL5zld
Smashwords . . . bit.ly/1LJnRgJ
Direct from printer . . . bit.ly/1K07Yzy
Values of the Rich
As a successful blogger __ by golly, I have almost 5,000 Facebook friends! __ many of my closest, most intimate buddies are fabulously wealthy. Predictably, the rich regularly devote the major part of their day to Facebook, and hanging out on other social sites. They don’t have to work a real job. They jump online, there’s my stunning profile picture, they click ‘Add Friend’ . . . Bingo! Another billionaire for my growing list of ultra-wealthy connections.
So, despite the holes in my jeans, the t-shirts that I wear __ which look like they’ve been dragged by an 18-wheeler across twenty-three state lines __ I can offer some very valuable insights into the .01%, the folks who are actually pulling the strings here in America for the puppet show we endearingly call the Land of Opportunity.
The other day I started thinking about the way rich people see the world. I was shocked to realize how much we regular folks have in common with them __ how much the filthy rich value the exact same things we do.
Restraint: The rich are conservative. They are emphatically for restraint! They want us to show restraint so they won’t have to. If we regular folks go squandering the nation’s wealth on silly and unnecessary frivolities __ like food and clothing, education for our kids, a car which doesn’t look like it was in a demolition derby __ there won’t be anything left for them to buy a Greek Island or sponsor a coup to overthrow the elected government of a country. And OMG! Have you checked out the price of cosmetic surgery these days? Why, it’s simply frightening! Liposuctioning away that unsightly inner tube and getting dermal abrasion from head to toe is cutting deep into the money that was going toward buying those beautiful art works stolen by the Third Reich. How frustrating!
Love thy neighbor as thyself: Absolutely! Of course, they mean their neighbors, not ours. Their neighbors belong to the same private clubs, and are less likely to be infected with some awful STD or Ebola, or whatever. There is even evidence that poverty is contagious. Being anywhere close to any common, low-life losers, why all the hard-earned fortune inherited from daddy could go up in smoke . . . just like that! Better safe than sorry.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you: To be completely candid, the wealthy are as confused about this one as the rest of us. How do you give a blow job to a woman? So basically they ignore it.
Whew!
Thinking all these deep thoughts is giving me a headache.
I’ll just cut to the chase.
I can sum up the whole ball of wax by just laying out for you what I consider to be the basic ethic __ the defining value system __ of our ultra-wealthy class of aristocrats. Here is the simple, forthright maxim I believe sums up the world view of the ultra-wealthy. By the way, this is from page 92 of my recent book on taking back our democracy . . .
“It’s all mine! Screw everybody else.”
Now, reach deep into your hearts, folks, and tell me you haven’t felt exactly this same way at some point in your life.
Your mom has just taken away from you a huge bowl of candy you grabbed from the coffee table. The bowl is full of the white chocolate bonbons and caramel squares she has set out for arriving guests. You want them, like really bad! So you start kicking and screaming and throwing a window-rattling tantrum.
“I want it! It’s all mine!
There you have it. Just like rich people.
Granted . . . you were only three years old at the time.
But you know the feeling.