John Rachel

We have learned from a deep source at Hillary Clinton presidential campaign headquarters, of a highly controversial, certainly mind-boggling, but sure-fire plan which will clinch the 2016 election for her. When it finally becomes public, this secret strategy will consign all the nay-saying skeptics about her viability as the first female president in American history, to eating vast quantities of humble pie.

Right now, of course, since no one knows of the plan, there’s a wide range of opinion and speculation in the media on her chances. Will she run? Will she make the same mistakes she made against Obama? Can she walk the fine line between appealing to the traditional Democratic base and raising the money she will need from Wall Street and corporate America? Is the country ready for a female president? Is the country ready for Hillary?

But her innovative new approach undercuts all of this.

The idea is as revolutionary as it is simple.

In 2016, Hillary Clinton will be running for president on both the Democratic and the Republican tickets.

Yes! I know it sounds unbelievable.

But it’s true.

She will make appearances at both conventions. A special secret poll of select campaign consultants and political scientists predicts she will easily garner delegate majorities at both events __ probably on the first round of balloting __ to secure the nominations.

My source further explains that to make this a viable strategy, the canny Ms. Clinton will have two different vice-presidential running mates, probably Kirsten Gillibrand for the Democratic ticket, and Megyn Kelly for the Republican.

Just think about that! All-female tickets running for president and vice-president via both major political parties.

Talk about a watershed moment in American history!

Stepping back and thinking about it, Hillary’s running as both Democratic and Republican candidates goes a long ways towards explaining some interesting recent developments.

While her sewing up the Democratic nomination has for quite some time been a foregone conclusion, Ms. Clinton has, to the surprise of many observers, been wooing and gaining the support of many wealthy conservatives as well. Her openly coming out as a bona fide member of their “team” as the Republican nominee just makes sense.

Let me add that beyond being a brilliant tactical maneuver just in terms of sewing up her future role as president, this unprecedented move is also a tremendous leap forward for democracy itself, which has come under a lot of attack in recent years.

Voters complain they’ve had a great deal of difficulty trying to figure out the differences between the policies and positions of candidates during the long campaign season. Despite the rigorous scrutiny and tortured analysis by experts across the entire political spectrum, quite often it’s hard to figure out what anyone stands for. This uncertainty has evidenced itself as voter apathy. Confused voters stay home on election day.

By running on both tickets, Ms. Clinton will eliminate the petty bickering and political posturing, and more importantly the contentious nitpicking by the media, which has only served to undermine candidate credibility among voters and erode their confidence in our electoral system.

Another enormous benefit of Ms. Clinton’s strategy is that with the election in the bag, she won’t have her time and energy squandered by all of the distractions and foolishness that goes into presidential election campaigning __ like interviews and televised debates.

Instead she can devote the entire time right up to taking the oath of office, honing items which will be the hallmarks of her presidency: bombing Iran and Syria; nuclear wars with both China and Russia; tripling of the size of America’s military contributions to Israel so that they can finally put the wily Palestinians in concentration camps where they belong; wiping North Korea off the map; building at least 1,000 more American military bases around the world to protect everyone on the planet from ISIS, Ebola, socialism, Putin and whatever other apocalyptic threats might come along; mounting a Special Ops invasion of Moscow __ ala the Osama bin Laden assassination __ to capture Edward Snowden; and burning down the Ecuadorian Embassy in London to flush out Julian Assange.

She should be able __ as they say __ to really hit the ground running in January 2017.