Shameless Self-Promotion – Part 1

We all know what GDP is, right?

Ever heard of GNH?

GNH stands for Gross National Happiness.  It’s how in Bhutan they measure the progress and well-being of their country.  Meaning they measure happiness by how much happiness there is.

Is that STUPID or what?

Happiness = Happiness?  How ridiculous!

We all know here in the West the only valid way to measure happiness.

Happiness = $$$$!

I’ve been looking at my book sales and it’s clear that I couldn’t possibly be a happy person.  Sales are slumping, meaning the $$$$s just aren’t pouring in.  How can I be happy?

But wait!  Aha!  Eureka!  Voilà!

Christmas is coming!  And yes, that means people are buying gifts and that means they’re going crazy spending $$$$s.  If I can get those $$$$s to come my way, I’ll be very happy!

Now let me be completely candid with you.

I sincerely believe my happiness should be sufficient reason for the tens of thousands of people reading this posting, to each order at least one of my books. 

But which one?

I’m going to focus all of the excitement, all of that highly charged, irrepressible hankering to put $$$$s in my personal banking account by focusing attention — at least for now — on one particular book.

Wondering what to get that special someone for Christmas?

Fret no more!  Just watch this!

Seeing that highly persuasive sales pitch, how could you possibly resist?

But just in case you’re still tottering on the fence, not entirely sure yet, how about a parade to put you in the holiday spirit? 

[ As an aside, I have to be blunt with you.  I’m really wondering why these excellent book trailers weren’t even shortlisted for the annual Clio awardsCronyism! ]

There you have it!  An irresistible force has overwhelmed your better judgement.

The Man Who Loved Too Much – Book 1: Archipelago is available from all of the usual suspects.  You can even walk into your favorite local book store, and after giving you an enigmatic smile, the clerk can order a copy — if it’s not already right there behind the counter with the nudie magazines.

The Man Who Loved Too Much – Book 1: Archipelago

Amazon (Kindle) . . .
Amazon (Paperback) . . .
Apple iBooks . . .

Barnes & Noble . . .
Kobo (Indigo) . . .
Kobo (US) . . .
Powell’s Books . . .
Tower Books . . .
Smashwords . . .
Direct from printer . . .

Poor Billy Green! When he was just turning four, his father tried to throw him in the trash.  He was a smart kid but that just seemed to create enemies.  His darling mom did everything to protect him.  But this was Detroit, armpit of the wasteland!  Catholic school didn’t help much, except the time he got his first kiss from an atheist nun.  Home life was dismal.  Was his father capable of anything but drinking beer and farting?  And what was with that neighbor who made puppets and tried to molest Billy?  Golly!  Detroit was sucking the life out of him.  At such a young age.  Then adolescence swirled around him.  Like water in a toilet bowl.  High school was a B movie.  Only without a plot.  So finally he did something about it.  Billy ran away … to college.  Cornell University.  That was a good move for sure!  He studied hard, lost his virginity, met the love of his life.  Things were definitely looking up!  What could possibly go wrong?

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