Category Archives: Satire

Life In Japan: Washlets

Posted on January 29, 2020 by johnrachel

Why haven’t washlets, a Japanese innovation I put on a par with the invention of the steam engine or artificial intelligence, caught on in Western countries? Has someone tried to market them to the wiping/smearing/stinky-butted round-eyed barbarians of Europe, the U.S., Australia, Canada, and the rest of the non-Japanese world … and gone bankrupt?  I don’t get it. Continue reading →

Posted in Japan, Living On The Edge, Satire, Travel | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Why should the U.S. wage war on Iran?

Posted on September 22, 2019 by johnrachel

Why should the U.S. wage war on Iran? There are so many answers to that question, it’s difficult to know where to begin. But here are a few right off the top of my head, based on our current foreign policy and the thinking mapped out by the truly remarkable collection of political leaders currently at the helm. Continue reading →

Posted in Deconstruction, Nihilism, Political Analysis, Political Rant, Satire, War and Peace | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Creativity: Two Existentialists Walk Into A Bar . . .

Posted on July 28, 2018 by johnrachel

I never should have called Professor Dornberger an insatiable proof sucker searching for the perfect syllogism. Hindsight is so powerful but ultimately useless. Continue reading →

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Life In Japan: Arthur the Celebrity Cat

Posted on February 12, 2018 by johnrachel

My adorable cat Arthur beat me to the punch and got in the newspaper. And he doesn’t even have an agent. What do I need to do to get some press around here? Continue reading →

Posted in Creativity, Japan, Living On The Edge, Satire, Social Commentary | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Shameless Self-Promotion – Part 2

Posted on December 19, 2017 by johnrachel

Desperate times call for desperate measures. But this? “Buy my book or I’ll shoot this dog”? That’s disgusting! Insane! Maybe you should buy my book so I can get psychiatric help. Continue reading →

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Shameless Self-Promotion – Part 1

Posted on November 30, 2017 by johnrachel

In my last posting, I generously offered advice on how my readers can reduce stress and introduce unparalleled happiness into their lives. This is the first in a series of articles on how my readers can reduce stress and introduce unparalleled happiness into MY life. Continue reading →

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The Lizard Brain Has Imposed a No-Fly Zone Over the Cerebral Cortex

Posted on November 29, 2017 by johnrachel

Stress is bad. Here it is the time of year when we should be enjoying life, celebrating the birth of a future carpenter who would fall victim to a sting operation by the Roman secret police, make a wholly embarrassing and painful exit from the dusty scene in Jerusalem, then become the iconic figurehead of a world-class religion, and what are we doing? Fighting over the last Iron Man Avengers Age of Ultron Toy at Walmart with an open-carry rodeo queen who left her 18-wheeler diesel engine idling in the parking lot. Well, you tense and frazzled folks, I’ve found the perfect Christmas gift for you and your whole stressed-out family! Continue reading →

Posted in Health Care, Nihilism, Satire, Social Commentary | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

P is for popular . . . S is for stupid!

Posted on October 30, 2017 by johnrachel

As you probably know by now, I’m not a humble person. But recently I received a blow to my ego that sent me reeling. I may never recover. It has to do with something covered with fur. Continue reading →

Posted in Creativity, Human Sexuality, Nihilism, Satire | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

John Rachel poet? Is this a joke?

Posted on October 8, 2017 by johnrachel

I just got four poems published. Does this herald some epic breach in the edifice which has been over centuries the steadfast defense of good taste against assaults by dilettantes, pretenders, and other faux-creative rabble? Am I losing my mind? Does my chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight? At least there’s a scientific answer to the last of these queries. All else is shrouded in mystery, yet dispersed by widespread dispassion — meaning, “Who cares?” The yawns unanimously carry the vote again. Continue reading →

Posted in Creativity, Nihilism, Satire | Tagged , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Trump Makes Russian the Official Language of the U.S.

Posted on May 22, 2017 by johnrachel

In a surprising and highly controversial move, President Donald Trump by executive order today made Russian the official language of the United States of America. Continue reading →

Posted in Fox News, Nihilism, Satire | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments